08 Sep Happiness and the tyranny of “when”
I have, for some time now, spoken of the “tyranny of when” which works against happiness in the case people say “I’ll be happy when…[insert something like, I have a new car, more money etc]”.
Happiness comes to those who focus more on what they have and less on what they don’t have; happiness also comes more to those who take responsibility for the lives, including the good and bad, and this is summed up well by Lou Tice in the happiness relevant message below…
Winner’s Circle Network with Lou Tice – 9/6/07 – “The If Only Syndrome”
Have you ever heard of the “if only” syndrome? Today, I’ll tell you what it is and how to avoid it.
Do you know anyone with the “if only” syndrome? Maybe you have a touch of it yourself. People with this syndrome blame others for their disappointments and failures. They blame their families (“Nobody could succeed with the parents I have”); their friends (“If only my so-called friends would come through for me once in a while”); their circumstances (“It’s obvious that the deck is stacked against me”); and their complaints frequently start with the words “if only.” “If only I had more money. If only I had paid more attention in school. If only I was better looking, a different race, a different age,” and so on.
They stumble through life feeling anxious or depressed, dreaming of unlikely events that will transform them magically, through little or no effort of their own. And because they envy others, it’s hard for them to feel any genuine pleasure in anyone else’s successes.
But the cure for the “if only” syndrome is to take responsibility for your own life once and for all. Give up blame and learn to hope. Give up faultfinding and learn to set achievable goals. Give up thinking about what you would do if you won the lottery and figure out what you can do with the 50 dollars you have instead.
By the way, the magic of taking responsibility for your failures is that when you do, you also take control of your success.
The Pacific Institute