11 Jun Finding Happiness through forgiveness
Positive psychology coaching focuses much of its efforts on highlighting and emphasising the good in life; but it also recognises that bad things happen and so to really experience the deeper and more meaningful forms of happiness we also need to resolve the wrongs in our life. Coaching can help with this by assisting, among other things, the practice of forgiveness. Below, is a short but useful introduction to the concept of forgiveness and one from which we can all benefit and through we can find more happiness.
Winner’s Circle Network with Lou Tice – 6/10/08 – “The Value of Forgiveness”
Many people throughout the ages have spoken of the virtues of forgiveness.
Today, I want to add my voice to theirs, and perhaps a special twist.
Against whom are you carrying a grudge? Is there someone who has done you a wrong, in some way, and whom you just can’t forgive? Have you, yourself, done things that you can’t forgive? Today I hope to impress upon you the incredible damage you can do to yourself, if you don’t let go of these hurts. You must learn to forgive and forget.
Confucius said that, “To be wronged is nothing unless you remember it.” He was absolutely right, and here’s why. Every time you remember something bad that happens to you, some wrong that was done to you, you feel those bad feelings all over again. You record the event in the neuron structure of your brain, and it plants itself in your subconscious.
Now your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between a vividly imagined or remembered event and the real thing. It is all “real” to your subconscious. When you subject yourself over and over again to painful, angry memories, eventually your system begins to break down. The poison of the not forgiven hurt and anger attacks you from the inside out.
12-step programs emphasize the importance of forgiveness, because they recognize that forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. Jesus forgave those who crucified him while he was still on the cross. When you forgive, you open yourself to wonderful new possibilities. Why not begin today? I know you can.
Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com