22 Sep Happiness tips for positive parenting
Check out my latest article from Babble.com.au – read below or click here
I was recently asked the following question…
I love my children dearly, and tell them so often, but am I risking spoiling them with too much love? _ã_ Concerned Dad
Dear Concerned Dad
I could answer your question with one word, but that would make for the world_ã_s shortest column, so let me answer your question with a little more detail and depth.
Before answering, however, I_ã_ll begin by asking another, related, question.
Exactly how do you let your children know that you love them?
Hidden or unspoken love is not much good to anyone. Love needs to be seen, felt, heard, touched and lived. Love needs to be overt, obvious and not always subtle. Love, especially for children, is a wonderful thing and it should be celebrated loudly, often and in all manner of circumstances.
In my latest book, 100 Ways to Happy Children: A Guide For Busy Parents, I write about my belief and my concern that many parents don_ã_t show their love for their children enough due to several, not necessarily valid, reasons including:
- A fear, referred to above, of _ã_spoiling_ã_ their children (this seems to be especially true for fathers and their boys)
- A belief that too much of a good thing is not a good idea
- Uncertainty about what to do because their parents didn_ã_t know what to do and, therefore, couldn_ã_t act as positive role models
In recent times, overt displays of emotion have become unpopular; now while I_ã_m not necessarily a fan of ridiculous public displays of ecstasy, and while I am all for managing and controlling certain emotions (especially inappropriate and unhelpful ones) I can_ã_t see any reason why we should hide appropriate, positive emotions such as love, admiration, happiness, joy and passion.
When it comes to raising happy children, there_ã_s no doubt that those children brought up in a loving, positive environment will benefit from their observations of, and experiences with these positive and very useful emotions. More than likely, they_ã_ll go on to be happier and more successful people and further, they_ã_ll ultimately become happier and better parents and citizens when it_ã_s their turn.
So find a way to put the following tips into practise, in a way that_ã_s genuine and sincere and that suits your personality, and reap the rewards of sharing the love around:
- Overtly tell your kids you love them on a regular basis
- Also, tell your partner you love him/her in front of your kids
- Show them that you love them by dedicating time to attend school and other activities (like sports) in which they_ã_re engaging
- Make it clear that you love them to spending time doing things they want to do and talking about topics they_ã_re interested in
- And finally, display your affection physically, where and when appropriate, with hugs and kisses (and tickles!)
You might also be interested in my latest book, “100 Ways to Happy Children” – click here