01 May Happiness Creates Love
By Lionel Ketchian (www.happinessclub.com)
Can you imagine happiness being more important than anything else in your life? Happiness is the end result of everything you do. It is what we all want. So why don’t we do it first?
Imagine that happiness is the most important thing in the world to you. Now imagine that happiness is more important than the one you love. Are you having trouble with that one? You might say to me: “how can I do that, what a selfish thing to do!” If you told the person you loved, that your happiness was more important than they were, you might dread them saying; “How selfish! You should not be concerned with your happiness. If you loved me, you should be more concerned with making me happy, after all isn’t that what love is?” No, that is not what love is like. That is what addiction looks like. Addiction says, “I need your love and approval to make me happy.”
By wanting to be loved, you are allowing your desire to control you. It is only by choosing happiness, being happy, and making happiness come first, that you will ever actually be happy. Only when you are happy can you give happiness to another person. Let me be clear about this. You can try to give happiness to another person, that does not mean they will take it. Giving it is up to you, taking it is up to them.
Being happy is not selfish. Is it selfish for a baby to learn to walk? Of course not; it is part of the baby’s road to maturity. The difference between you and a baby is that a baby tries to do all it can for itself, by relying on the help of others. Like the baby, you are relying on outside sources to make you happy, but that will not work any more. Mature individuals are responsible for their own thinking, feelings, needs, and actions. Being unhappy is acting with immaturity and uncertainty. Your ability to learn to be happy will determine your level of maturity.
When you are unhappy, you are spending your time being self-involved. You are allowing what you want to determine how you feel about yourself and other people. Unhappiness is selfishness because it is all about what you want. It is only when you are being happy, that you can involve yourself with other people in a positive manner.
OK, now imagine being happy and making happiness job # 1 in your life. With happiness at your side, it will be your pleasure to make your loved one happy. Most importantly, you would not want to make them unhappy or hurt them in any way. Happiness allows you to take responsibility for yourself. You are able to respond better to other people. Being happy allows you to experience real freedom. You do this by not letting other people control you. Freedom allows you to be happy, feel happy, and therefore give happiness away to others. Remember, you can’t give away what you do not have. If it were not for freedom, you would not be giving happiness to others, they would be taking it from you.
When you get to the point where happiness is the most important thing to you, then you are at the juncture of experiencing love. Most people are unhappy because they are looking for love by looking for someone to give it to them. They are looking for love because they are certain they need it. What they really need is happiness. Once you use happiness as your strategy for living, you come face to face with love. When you are being happy, you can connect with love. Love springs from happiness. Peace and freedom are the effects of happiness, and that is where love originates. It is only when you tap into the happiness within you, that you can experience real love.
Love that flourishes out of happiness is the love you can give the people in your life. This is a love with no conditions, not wanting to control or change the other person. When you come from this kind of love, others will know you are being real. What the world needs now, is for you to show your love. You need to give your love, in order to experience your happiness. It does not matter what others do, the important attitude for you to have will be to give your love and happiness to others.
Happiness allows you to work through self centeredness. Happiness allows you to come to a place very few people have ever experienced. It is a loving, peaceful aspect of freedom and happiness called bliss. A description of bliss might be defined as a permanent state of happiness. In this state, no one has control over you to make you happy or unhappy, because you have taken control of yourself.
Your true nature is to be happy. Do not betray it! Do not deceive yourself with unhappiness. Happiness is right here within you. Reach in and touch!