16 Aug Happiness is…choosing carefully to whom you listen!
As important as expressing gratitude is to me, this article is of an even more personal nature. I’ve been extremely busy lately, which is great because I love what I do and I love having the opportunity to spread the principles of positive psychology as widely as possible and to boost happiness in the lives of individuals, couples, families and organisations. Over the last month or so I must have spoken to or been heard by hundreds, if not thousands of people and this work that I’ve chosen to do brings me an enormous amount of satisfaction.
At the same time, however, I’ve been doing this for long enough to realise that not everyone is going to like me or, necessarily, my message; and a few weeks ago, following a course I ran, there were at least a couple of people who openly expressed their disappointment in what I’d presented. And I’m not ashamed to acknowledge that I found this somewhat distressing (yes, even Dr. Happy gets upset!). Although I didn’t agree with all of the issues they raised the fact was that they were not totally satisfied and I’d like to think that the people with whom I work are, or will be happy!
Now I should also note that by far in a way the majority of people with whom I’ve come into contact lately have been very complimentary and provided some truly wonderful feedback. At the same time as a couple of people expressed some disappointment there were many, many more who referred to their participation in my courses or programs, or their attendance of my events as “life changing” and who rated the work I was presenting as brilliant, fascinating, educational and entertaining.
Now I don’t say this to boast and the purpose of this article is certainly not to blow my own trumpet but rather, to ask you an important question…
…to whom do you listen? Do you listen to the 90% who love and care for you or to the 10% who (for whatever reason) don’t like you? Do you listen to the 9 who laugh at your joke or to the 1 who doesn’t find it funny? Do you listen to those who encourage and inspire you to do and be more, or to those who put you down and suggest you just settle for the way things are?
As much as I don’t like receiving negative assessments or evaluation I guess I have to accept that it’s part of the territory in which I live and work. In the light of these experiences I’ve decided to listen to the valid components of what the critics have to say BUT ONLY to the extent that I can learn and improve from it. More so, I’ve decided to listen to the others, the majority, whose positivity motivates, inspires and energises me to do more and to help others. Because if I can do this then I’ll experience more happiness and just as importantly, I’ll be more likely to help others find more happiness.
So who do you choose listen to…and is this boosting or detracting from your happiness?