06 Nov Happiness, health and social connections
Another interesting article from Positive Psychology News Daily
Would you knowingly engage in behaviors that you know would lead to a cascade of negative health events? After her husband died, Shirley regularly declined invitations to go places with friends by saying, _ã–Oh, my husband really wouldn_ã_t want me to be going out at night,_ã or _ã–I really need to watch golf on TV this afternoon, because my husband enjoyed it so much._ã
Before long she had a regular catalog of excuses (nearly all of which were tied to an explanation which included her husband) for avoiding social calls. Not surprisingly, people stopped inviting her to socialize with them. These well-meaning people thought they were giving Shirley _ã–space_ã to grieve and sent her cards and pictures rather than making phone calls and sending invitations.
Situational Loneliness Can Become Chronic Loneliness
Shirley continued to talk about her friends as if she were seeing them regularly, and while pointing to their pictures displayed on the refrigerator, she made excuses on their behalf about how busy they were with work and family responsibilities. She left the television on day and night and fell asleep on the sofa only to awaken in the middle of the night never having made it to bed. Shirley clearly understood and valued the importance of being deeply socially connected, but when her own children invited her to visit for holidays or family events, her excuses soon expanded to include many things she said she would never do again_ã_ fly, take the train, or drive beyond her own town. If they really wanted to see her, Shirley said, the children and their families could come to her house. After all, she reminded them_ã”that is what their father would have wanted_ã”the whole family together.
Want to read more? Happiness and health are significantly linked to social connectedness and good quality relationships…CLICK HERE to read the full and original article