30 Jun What do happy couples do right?
One of the most important contributors to happiness is good quality relationships.
Many of us can learn how to enjoy more happiness by understanding what happy people do and finding a way to do something similar ourselves.
So if we can learn from the best, the happiest couples, we can then boost the quality of all the relationships in our lives as well as the quality and quantity of positive emotions in our lives.
So, with this in mind, we thought you might enjoy this great article that begins thus…
SALT LAKE CITY — We all know that couple — the couple that doesn't necessarily have it perfect, but they just seem to have it good. What are those happy couples doing right? Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend shares five observations.
Happy couples understand that each partner carries their own sunshine
Happy couples understand that their happiness is much more determined by their individual choices and reactions than anything their partner can do. Healthy couples have learned to bring their own sunshine to their marriage instead of letting their partner's moods or life circumstances negatively influence their happiness. The healthiest couples realize that outside circumstances can influence happiness, but in the end, it is an individual choice which each person must make.
Happy couples see and share the positive about their partner
Research by marriage expert Dr. John Gottman shows that the way couples tell the story of how they met is a big indicator in their current state of happiness. When we are happy in our marriages, we tend to remember the past with more fondness and, in turn, tell more positive stories about the history of the marriage. Conversely, when we aren't as happy we tend to bring up more of the negative moments of the past.
Happier couples tend to isolate a negative past event involving their partner to that specific moment in the past instead of generalizing that problem into their entire relationship. Healthier couples, even when describing negative events of the past, still add an additional positive comment or silver lining at the end of their stories to show that not all things are bad.
Happy couples know that focusing on the good increases the likelihood that the good will grow. Just as our stories act as a barometer of our marriage, it also can act as a future script. If we want to create a more positive future with our partner, there is enormous value in focusing on the positive with our partner. It will always be easier to live with someone who sees and points out the good that we do rather than the bad.
Happy couples master the art of the tough conversation
The No. 1 complaint cited most often for couples in marriage counseling is the inability to talk about significant problems…
You can read the full and original article HERE but the most important thing to consider is…how can you use these findings to improve your relationships, your happiness, and your life?