11 Oct Happiness, intimacy & vulnerability
Happiness is many things…and many of these involves others!
Happiness is achieving and accomplishing; it's health & wellbeing; it's hope and optimism and fun and play and … so much more than just each of us as individuals.
Happiness is, to a very large extent, our relationships with others; and our relationships with others involve intimacy and, therefore, vulnerability.
Accordingly, I thought you might enjoy this article from Psychology Today…
Vulnerability, The Secret To Intimacy – by Emma Seppala
Why is falling in love scary? Why do people often shut down in the face of intimacy? Because of an intense fear of vulnerability. Dr. Brene Brown, Professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, explains this phenomenon: “Vacillating between I am here and I love you…and I'm going to reveal my innermost to you…and I am scared to death that you’ll reject me.” Ironically, the vulnerability we try desperately to avoid may be the key to a successful relationship. Research shows that the quality that makes a relationship last is its degree of affection and affection implies vulnerability.
In my previous post, I described the critical health impact of social connections and relationships. Brown, an expert on social connection, conducted thousands of interviews to discover the root of deep social connection. A thorough analysis of the data revealed what it was: vulnerability. Vulnerability here does not mean being weak or submissive. To the contrary, it implies the courage to be yourself. It involves uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
Although we may try to run from vulnerability, it is an inevitable part of social relationships. Even outside of romance, vulnerability is something we encounter frequently: calling someone who has just lost a child, asking a friend for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, confronting a family member about their behavior, or sitting by the bedside of a friend with a terminal illness. Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us every day, the question is whether we will take them…
…keep reading more of this article HERE