Recapture your happiness

Recapture your happiness

Harshada Rajani writes in the Huffington Post about taking back here happiness…

I think I've forgotten how to be happy. I'm not trying to sound depressed or melodramatic, but I really think I forgot what that emotion is supposed to feel like. I've mastered pretty much every other emotion under the sun, but happiness still evades me. If the world or fate had their way, I would be bitterly unhappy for the rest of my life, but that is not going to be the case, if I have anything to say about it. I used to be spewing with all kinds of blissful, hopeless, annoying happiness. I thought that since my present left a lot to be desired, I could just lose myself in my beautiful past. I would simply hide from the present and look through awesome, old pictures, and daydream about funny, old memories. Sounds like a great plan, right? Wrong. Dante Alighieri's Inferno said it best, "There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery." Word.

So I formed a new plan. Everyone around me had a life that was moving and thriving while only my life was stuck and barely surviving. They were becoming doctors and professors, husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, but yet, I was still a patient, and arguably, nothing more. So obviously, I decided to momentarily forget about my worries and troubles, and live vicariously through their good times and good vibrations. I appreciated my friends and family profusely for sharing their wonderful lives and wild stories with me. I loved celebrating their triumphs and mourning over their tribulations. But I would be lying if I didn't say that, no matter how much I loved them, for a split second, I shamefully hated them. All of them.

Hearing and seeing how normal and full their lives were, just reminded me how abnormal and painfully empty my life was, and that killed me. I was jealous of them for being able to walk into a room and talk to me. I envied them for having a life that I would never have. I hated them, most of all, simply for being happy… But that kind of thinking won't get me anywhere, except straight to the bottom of a bottle of Johnnie Walker (ok, ok it would actually only be a bottle of diet coke, but that doesn't sound as edgy). So after literally half a second, I diligently shoved those destructive and incredibly selfish thoughts to the back of my mind, under the blanket of euphemisms and jokes that has come to define my life…

…Keep reading the full and original article HERE