24 Jul 10 things to STOP THINKING for more happiness
by Paula Davis-Laack for the Huffington Post
For the past four years, I have been studying, writing, and talking about what makes people resilient and better able to handle stress. Much of my work involves helping people identify the mindsets and faulty assumptions that undercut their happiness, resilience, and ability to manage stress. I'm passionate about this topic because I spent over a year in hell burning out toward the end of my law practice.
I'm frequently asked how I recovered from such a tough period in my life, and I did it not by helping others, saying thank you, or increasing my positive emotions, sound research-based self-help tidbits that work only if you understand the root cause of your own unhappiness and unworthiness. The only thing that really helped me get out of the abyss and truly thrive and change was weeding through all of the mindsets that have been quietly (and sometimes loudly) undercutting my ability to be my happiest self.
I had to figure out why I started getting panic attacks at the age of 14. I had to figure out why I thought it was more important to impress people and go into a career in law rather than follow my heart and become a writer. I had to trace the genesis of my perfectionistic, people pleasing, achieve-aholic tendencies. I had to discover why I wasn't getting the most out of my relationships.
People avoid these conversations and going there, as I like to call it, like the plague. Understanding your mindsets is tough and getting to the root cause isn't a quick fix. Some of the most pivotal moments in my work have come when folks have had the willingness to stand up and say things like, "Damn, I guess I was part of the reason why my marriages failed," or "My kids don't want to talk to me because I'm a big, fat jerk." Those are humbling moments that lead to profound self-awareness, true change and can lay the groundwork for lasting happiness.
There are thousands of how-to books, yet our divorce rate is sky high, we're still searching for happiness, and we're the heaviest people on the planet. Self-help works only if you're willing to dig deep and figure out the root cause of what's going on for you, and that takes work.
Here are 10 deeply-held beliefs that act as barriers to true happiness and lasting change…
…keep reading HERE for the 10 mindsets AND for the full & original article