14 Aug How to be loved…by everyone!
If happiness is about relationships and relationships are about love then…
6 powerful secrets – how to be loved by everyone!
by Eric Barker
We would all like to know how to be loved by everyone.
In the end, who are our favorite people? Those who understand us and listen. Someone we can turn to and honestly say, “You get me.”
That really comes down to one skill: listening. And it’s something most of us are awful at.
In an age of sub-zero attention spans, focus is a superpower. And focusing on others is even more rare.
When I asked the #1 love researcher, John Gottman, what the best thing to do to improve a relationship was, what did he say?
Learn how to be a good listener.
And it’s no different at the office. Why do nearly 50% of people quit their jobs?
They didn’t feel their boss listened to them.
Another study released by the US Department of Labor concluded that 46 percent of those who quit their jobs did so because they felt not listened to and were therefore unappreciated. Consider this: almost half the workforce will leave their job because they didn’t feel like their boss was listening.
So listening is serious business. You want everyone to think you’re awesome? Want to be a good friend, partner, or leader? Well, listen up. Here we go…
1) Be A Detective
Don’t think of a conversation as a tennis match. Instead, see it as a detective game.
Via Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone:
How do you master the skill of being interested— and be sincere when you do it? The first key is to stop thinking of conversation as a tennis match. (He scored a point. Now I need to score a point.) Instead, think of it as a detective game, in which your goal is to learn as much about the other person as you can. Go into the conversation knowing that there is something very interesting about the person, and be determined to discover it.
Rather than having to fake being interested, turning it into a detective game actually makes you interested. And this makes the other person feel special.
Detectives ask questions. And so should you. And when they become engaged in telling you something use a special little technique I like to call: “just shut up.”
Via Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone:
The second key to being interested is to ask questions that demonstrate that you want to know more… Eventually, one of your questions will click and you’ll see the person lean forward eagerly to tell you something with enthusiasm or intensity. When that happens, do the right thing: Shut up. Listen. Listen some more. And then, once the person reaches a stopping point, ask another question that proves that you heard (and care about) what the person said.
Okay, Sherlock, you’re playing detective. After being curious and interested, what should you do next?
…keep reading more HERE