24 Dec This is how you find happiness within
via ThoughtCatalog by Sabrina Alexis
I was once a very foolish little lady and I know I’m not alone. I wanted a boyfriend more than anything. I never stopped to wonder why, I just wanted it. Now this isn’t gonna be a tale about how I wanted it and it didn’t happen and then when I stopped wanting it, it did. My desperation did somehow result in a relationship and from there, chaos ensued.
Saying I wanted a boyfriend had a very clear underlying message- I wanted to be loved, desired, to feel good about myself, to have someone there to make me feel good about myself when I didn’t. During the course of our relationship my moods were totally contingent upon the way he responded to me- a compliment would lead to exhilaration. An insult? Well I’d fall to pieces.
Not surprisingly, the relationship didn’t last and it was only in the years after that I realized the reason why: I was looking outside myself for love and approval, a fatal misstep I see committed all the time. After this relationship ended, I truly learned the value of loving myself, and I found that with my newfound confidence, I was a much happier person out of the relationship than I had ever been when I was in it.
My motivation for this post came the other day while reading Feeling Good by David D. Burns (a book I highly recommend), specifically this passage: “People who have found happiness within themselves are usually the most desirable to members of the opposite sex and become like magnets because they are at peace and generate a sense of joy.” While these insights aren’t anything new, I felt compelled to examine this concept in more depth because for some reason, I think most of us put this very vital knowledge on the back burner.
We’ve all been told that before you can find a healthy, happy, loving relationship, it is essential to love yourself. But how does one cultivate such a love? I have faced my fair share of insecurity and self-doubt but these burdens are mostly a thing of the past for me now and I have evolved into someone who is (mostly) confident in every way.
This didn’t happen magically, it took some work and a major attitude overall which was done using the tips listed below…
…keep reading HERE