17 Mar 10 truths that will lead to genuine happiness
via the Huffington Post by Mylea Charvat
Every day we are inundated with suggestions and ideas for how we can ensure a happy and healthy lifestyle. Coincidently, at almost every panel I participate in I'm asked the question, "As a busy CEO of a growing startup, how do I still manage to find time for my family and friends?" Randi Zuckerberg has even jumped in on this topic of conversation, writing to tell entrepreneurs that out of the five main priorities in life — work, sleep, family, friends and fitness (let's reframe fitness as health from now on) — we have to pick three because we cannot have all five. To a certain extent I agree with her, yet I also have to beg to differ because I believe this "work all the time" mantra we cultivate in Silicon Valley is simply unsustainable and in the end her argument represents a false choice scenario.
A Life-Changing Accident
In 2009, my husband was severely injured in a motorcycle accident. Ironically, this turned out to be the best and worst thing to ever happen to us both. At the time, I was a 36-year-old wife who regularly enjoyed running, hiking and mountain biking with my active husband. Suddenly, our lives changed overnight. During the time of the accident and his life-shattering disability, I was working full-time as a clinician treating Veterans and writing grants to support my research, all while caring for my injured spouse. With everything combined, I was working 90-hour weeks, which was enough to flatten me in just a matter of months.
After a series of surgeries, along with my husband's contraction of a massive, life threatening infection that went undiagnosed for weeks, we were both told to abandon hope that Mark would walk or live a full life again. Unwilling to accept this outcome, we set out on a journey focused on Mark's ability to learn how to walk after the accident. We built a treatment team of Western and Eastern healers, and completely altered our lives to accommodate Mark's healing process. Everything changed, but most of all, I changed (as did he) in a profound and positive way that I am deeply grateful for today.
The Journey to Happiness
Believe it or not, both Mark and I ended up happier, with an overall better wellbeing, even in the face of such extreme trials such as the process Mark underwent learning how to walk again one painful step at a time with a walker. Overall, it was Mark's remarkable recovery, along with my prior knowledge of neuroscience, which made Mark's path to healing possible. After all, Mark was not an average patient — he was married to a Stanford Medical School Fellow, who had access to systems of care and tools not available to others. This privileged access we enjoyed and the profound impact it had on his ability to recovery, is what led me to start Savonix, my growing startup that provides low-cost, powerful cognitive assessment tools accessible for the first time to anyone.
This in mind, I want to say, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." As cliché as this expression may sound, it's certainly true in my experience. I recognized this during my trial by fire when my husband was gravely disabled. It was during this time that I learned a few hard lessons about some universal truths, truths that can ultimately lead to a happier life.
10 of these truths are:
#1: Self-Reliance is Over Rated.
Asking for help not only means you have a team in your personal or work life, it also creates and strengthens social bonds, which as it turns out are profoundly related to our long term health and overall wellbeing.
#2: Self-Forgiveness is Under Rated.
Perfection is a myth and the need to be right all the time leads to unhappiness, whether at work or at home. Learn to love yourself with all of your strengths and foibles. Strive not for perfection, but to be "good enough." When you fail, apologize sincerely and try again…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE