04 Jan What if you were afraid of happiness; and didn’t even know it!
Happiness…we all want it.
Well, we think we all want it!
But what if you were afraid of happiness and weren’t even aware of your fears? This great article is well worth reading…
via the Huffington Post by Shannon Bradley-Colleary
You Might Be Blocking Happiness and Not Even Know It!
If you were raised in an unpredictable, volatile or drug-and-alcohol addicted home, you may have developed a Fear of Happiness.
In my family of origin, I learned that happiness, fun and gaiety could be swiftly followed by rage and/or withdrawal. As a result, I unconsciously began to fear Happiness, because sometimes it was followed by pain.
I also unconsciously attracted relationships that kept me in low-grade misery; a state of worry, anxiety and control, partly because I was fearful of too much good coming into my life. Then I’d actually have something to lose!
After working 12-step recovery, I fell in love with an emotionally available, kind man who was head over heels for me. This is when things got worse.
The happier I was in the relationship, the more terrified I became that something awful would happen to my love. I’d never felt so exposed and vulnerable.
How Do You Know if You’re Staying in a Toxic Relationship Because You’re Afraid to Be Happy?
Answer these questions:
1. When something good happens, do you downplay it because you worry the universe will take it away, or balance it out with something painful?
The cause of this might stem from being physically or emotionally abandoned by one of our important caregivers.
2. Do you feel shame when someone is kind to you, or something good happens to you, because you feel you’re not worthy?
When we were children, someone might’ve criticized us, and those voices live in our unconscious mind; constantly undermining our ability to feel worthy of love and happiness.
3. Were you taught Happiness is associated with laziness?
Many of us come from families where we’ve learned that if we’re happy we must be goofing off, not working hard enough, or not taking life seriously. Workaholism was our main value.
Choosing Happiness as a New Value
Below is a photo of me with my husband of sixteen years, because marrying him was the happiest choice I’ve ever made.
Yet I still have nightmares we’ve been separated; that I can’t find him; can’t dial the numbers on my phone to reach him; or that he doesn’t love me anymore.
One day we will be separated by death. It’s inevitable. But, I have to train myself not to push him away, or enact barriers to protect me from that inevitability.
Guarding myself against misery by shoving away happiness will not make the misery any less painful when we one day part. So I’m practicing happiness. Tentatively allowing myself to feel it — even if it scares the ever-loving shit out of me…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE