21 Sep Happiness … and the art of letting go
It’s oft been said that happiness is living in the present.
There’s definitely some truth in this; but happiness can also be in the past (recalling fond memories) and the future (looking forward to exciting events).
Happiness, therefore, can be wherever we want it to be; but happiness won’t be found in holding on to hurst and injuries.
So for more happiness via letting go of the painful past, keep reading…
via the Ladders by Gustavo Razzetti
“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.” — Lao Tzu
Why can’t I just move on?
Everyone tells you: “let go.” It sounds so simple, right? Yet, you can’t stop holding on to the past. A grudge, a bad experience, or a betrayal — no matter how long ago they happened, sad memories stick with us forever.
Reliving a story is like being hurt twice or thrice — remembering your suffering creates more suffering. So why do we do it?
In some weird way, it’s fulfilling. We construct our heroified version of what happened. Those stories do more than fill the void — they’ve become part of who you are. Memories have adhered to your identity; you can’t remove them no matter how hard you try.
Let’s be honest: letting go is not easy. But you can train yourself to avoid sad memories from getting stuck. You need to develop a Teflon Mind.
Why we create (more) suffering
“It is mental slavery to cling to things that have stopped serving its purpose in your life.” — Chinonye J. Chidolue
You can’t change the past, so why continue to perpetuate it?
The more you try to understand what happened, the more harm you cause. Rehashing sad memories adds unnecessary suffering to your suffering.
You feel like a hamster in the wheel — no matter how hard you try, you can’t make any progress.
According to Professor Clifford Nass at Stanford University, “The brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres. Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive ones. Thus, we tend to ruminate more about unpleasant events — and use stronger words to describe them — than happy ones.”
However, blaming everything on our brain could be an easy way out. We cannot change what happened, but we have control of the stories we tell ourselves about what happened…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE