When feeling bad is good for you!

When feeling bad is good for you!

I’ve said many times that happiness is NOT just about smiling and laughing all the time.

In fact, happiness is about enjoying the good times; but happiness is also about managing the tough times as best we can.

And it’s not really appropriate to feel happy and positive ALL the time. Happiness is great, but other emotions such as sadness and grief, stress and anxiety are also normal and appropriate at times.

It follows, therefore, that feeling “bad” can sometimes be “good”…

via Psychology Today by David Feldman

A few years ago, I gave a talk at a conference for cancer survivors. In attendance were more than a thousand people in various stages of their battles against this daunting disease, ranging from those who had just received their diagnosis to people years into remission. Somewhat spontaneously, I asked the audience a question: “What is the least helpful piece of advice anyone offered you during your cancer ordeal?” Given the number of people, it shouldn’t be surprising that there was a plethora of opinions. But, there was a wave of agreement that one of the very least helpful things they heard — often over and over again — was, “Look on the bright side! Just put your mind on the positive, and everything will be all right.” The main problem with this advice, the audience told me, was that it’s simply impossible to follow. “The more I try to force myself to think positively,” one woman commented, “the more I just feel like I’m lying to myself and the people I love.”

“I think it should be okay to feel bad sometimes,” she added.

American culture seems obsessed with positivity. We tell people to “Have a nice day!” when we depart their company. When we see them in passing, we ask, “How are you?” and are genuinely shocked if they tell us anything other than, “Great,” “Good,” or at least, “Fine.” Even if you don’t remember most songs from past decades, chances are you recall Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” The Beach Boys’ “Good Vibrations,” and Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.”

It’s what psychologists Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener call “gung-ho happyology.” In their book, The Upside of Your Dark Side, they argue that trying to be so positive all the time can easily backfire…

…keep reading the full & original article HERE