14 Jan 10 doubts stopping you from being your best (and what you can do about them)
Happiness and success is not about being perfect or knowing it all.
But self-doubt can definitely undermine the actions required to be your best and enjoy success and happiness.
Self-doubt can eat away at confidence and perceived control, creating anxiety and uncertainty rather than satisfaction, contentment and happiness.
But the good news is that awareness of self-doubts is the first step to overcoming self-doubts; and this great article will help almost all of us…
via the Ladders by Christoper D Connors
“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” ― Vincent Willem van Gogh
I’m going to let you in on a big secret that is going to stop you right in your tracks and boost your confidence: You have the ideas, beliefs and courage to live the life you truly want. You may not have every piece of the puzzle just yet. You may not have the blueprint or plan. And perhaps you haven’t yet activated your dreams.
But this whole thing called life — and living it on YOUR terms — isn’t nearly as complicated as WE make it out to be. It’s not others who are culpable of making things more complicated for us. It’s ourselves. It’s called doubt and it can cripple the best of us — even those of us who are motivated, self-aware and full of dreams and positive energy.
As I’ve written about previously, we rarely talk much about doubt. It can be embarrassing. We become self-conscious and unwilling to want to admit to others — much less ourselves — how much it may be robbing us of the life we want. It’s worth opening up the conversation on this pernicious enemy, largely because it’s the secret battle all of us fight — and many of us are (ironically) to fearful to open up about.
According to Merriam-Webster, doubt is, “to call into question the truth of: to be uncertain.”
It is also to demonstrate a lack of confidence. The key to a happy, purpose-driven life is a foundation of faith and confidence. You must believe in yourself. You must trust your thoughts and how you will respond to all the events and stimuli in your life.
When you are confident, you believe that anything is possible. You think more clearly, with an open-mind and heart. You’re willing to reject fear, take risks and better identify with your positive and negative emotions. Confidence permeates your thoughts and drives your actions. Doubt crushes them.
Through deep reflection, we can realize that doubt, when analyzed in isolation, can actually help us frame up what matters most to us. Every time I know I’m on the right track, I intuitively feel it. Hopefully you do, too. You know it’s right, you lean into it and let the positive energy propel you forward. Here, you’re able to dissect doubt and understand that it’s just a part of the human experience.
I’ve learned there are 10 major causes of doubt. It’s not just important to identify these causes, it’s imperative for us to combat them, and have a plan to triumph over what can sink us, if we let it. Read these through. Come back to these during moments of weakness. You already have what it takes. You just need these tools and techniques to help you embrace the challenges of each day.
1. Doubt of what others may think of your new, bold future plans
You want to launch your own consulting business. You want to become an artist or software developer full-time. Maybe you just want to change careers, try out something you’ve always loved but have been too afraid to do, or maybe you want to go “all in” with committing to that special person in your life. And yet, once you find your mind moving forward, it seems like your legs buckle and suddenly you’re stuck.
“How could I possibly let someone else’s spoken opinion, or my own perception, prevent me from moving in a direction my head and heart are leading me toward?”
My coaching work, as well as academic research, has led me to believe that this is the number one cause of doubt that leads to inaction. We doubt ourselves because we worry about what others may think of the ideas or plans that mean so much to us, that they couldn’t possibly have enough knowledge and depth of understanding for.
Solution: Commit to a two-step plan: Speak and write your future plans and desires over your life. Step one is to have the awareness and willingness to communicate these plans. Step two is having the courage and willingness to act on what you believe. Find time alone in solitude to do this exercise. Then, start implementing a routine to ensure you commit to action.
2. Doubt of whether you have what it takes to do what you truly want
This most closely resembles Impostor Syndrome. Either that you’re not sure that you can succeed, or you doubt your previous accomplishments. No matter how accomplished or skilled you are, if you doubt who you are, you’ve already lost.
Solution: Develop a mantra. Mine is, “I’m really good at being me.” I also use, “Today is a big step closer to living the life I want.” These are positive affirmations that we speak over our lives. Their inspirational and encouraging and they help feed our conscious and subconscious minds. They help us creating the story that we want to write over our lives.
“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself. Believe in yourself, your abilities and your own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.” ― Roy T. Bennett
3. Doubt about whether you can overcome your past
The coaching work I’ve done has taught me that people get caught living in the past, and forget to be present for today and their future. This is where mindfulness comes in. Take this from the Harvard GSE:
“By approaching [what you do] with mindfulness, you decrease the amount of energy you spend worrying about the past or the future, and you increase the amount of attention you give to present and positive experiences. But because stress and worrying can be so ingrained, you have to practice (and keep practicing) the skills and habits you need to keep your attention on the present.”
Solution: The truth is, most people aren’t really watching, or they’re so wrapped up and absorbed in their own affairs, they’re not even aware of any of your past struggles or stumbles. The doubt that plays on our minds is the perceived care that others are remembering us or thinking of us for our failures. They’re probably not. But even if they are, isn’t that great motivation to re-write the ending to your Hollywood script?
…keep reading the full & original article HERE