19 Aug 7 words to STOP saying to yourself if you want more confidence
Confidence is something you build; through the enacting of positive behaviours. In this way, it’s very much like happiness which can be enjoyed, if not all the time then more of the time, by practising healthy and helpful habits.
As such, confidence and happiness depend very much on what you do.
At the same time, however, it’s also important to be wary of what NOT to do; unhelpful behaviours and bad habits can eat away at happiness and confidence so as important as it is to focus on what to do and say, it’s just as important to reflect upon what not to do and say …
via Inc.com by Melanie Curtin
Confidence isn’t binary. It isn’t something you either have or don’t. Rather, it’s something you practice, grow into, and develop.
This is important because if you’ve developed an identity around “not being confident,” you can just as easily develop the identity of “I’m growing my confidence.” This is a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed one, and it matters. It changes you from the inside out.
One of the most basic ways to practice confidence is with your speech. Here are some terms to stop using if you want to supercharge your confidence:
As in, “I’ll try to make it to that meeting.”
In this context, “try” really means “I don’t want to do that, but I’ll make it sound like I might so you won’t be mad at me.”
People-pleasers who don’t want to say no will often use “try” to punt. Confident people don’t do this. Instead, they follow Yoda’s advice: Do or do not. There is no try.
“Can you get this done by Friday?”
Most of us have a gut instinct when we’re asked a question like this. We know what else we have going on and whether we have the bandwidth to take on another project. Counterintuitively, when you lack confidence you also tend to lack the conviction to say no. This often leads you to say something like, “Maybe…” hoping that by your tone of voice, the person will let you off the hook.
Instead, a confident person will simply say “No” when they know that’s the answer that’s called for. They might add, “However, I could get that done by next Wednesday.” What they won’t say is maybe when they mean no.
As in, “We can’t do that.”
It’s not that confident people never fail–it’s that they do fail. They’re willing to take risks because they know that if things don’t work out, they’re resilient. They’ll get knocked down but then get up again.
Thus, “We can’t do that” becomes “This is risky, and I believe we can do it. And if it doesn’t work out, we’ll have each other’s backs.”
…keep reading the full & original article HERE