20 Aug 5 signs you’re too hard on yourself
There are so many wonderful things in this world of ours; but it can also be difficult at times to be happy.
Things go wrong, people can be mean, and all this can affect our happiness.
We can manage this; or at least learn to manage these stressors. But one thing we absolutely have to learn to manage is how we treat ourselves. We’ll never enjoy happiness if we’re constantly berating and criticising ourselves…
via the Ladders by Ladan Nikravan Hayes
For many people, it’s easy to forgive someone else, but a lot harder to forgive him of herself. Holding yourself to an impossible standard of perfectionism is a common cause of this inability to forgive yourself. Ignoring positives and solely focusing on the negatives during self-reflection can lead to wrong turns, missed opportunities, and mistakes.
Of course, striving to be the best version of yourself and continuously improving yourself isn’t a bad thing, but if you’re constantly focusing on your own shortcomings and errors, it can take a toll on your mental health.
“The tone of your self-talk is the key,” said Amy Cirbus, a New York-based Talkspace therapist.
“There’s a difference between saying ‘That didn’t work out, I think I might be able to do that better’ versus ‘I can never get this right, I’m such a failure.’ Personal growth is defined as improving through honest reflection, realistic goal setting, and understanding that failure is part of the journey. Self-criticism is the antithesis to growth.”
We all have an inner critic, and for the most part, that’s a good thing. That little voice can keep us motivated and make sure we make the right decisions. For example, treating others well, meeting our goals, and eating healthy. But that inner dialogue can be harmful if it gets too negative. Studies have linked negative self-talk with low levels of self-esteem and high-stress levels.
This, in turn, can lead to decreased motivation, feelings of helplessness, and depression.
Signs You are Being Too Hard On Yourself
According to Cirbus, these are some signs you’re being a bit too hard on yourself and may want to give yourself a break:
- You give up on challenges quickly, fearing you won’t be successful.
- You ruminate on failures long after they’re over.
- Your self-talk consists of harsh criticism and generalizations.
- When situations don’t go as planned, you blame yourself.
- You keep commitments to everyone but yourself, believing you’re not as worthy as others.
How to Stop Your Negative Self-Talk
Cirbus said there are practical and relatively simple things you can do to reduce your self-criticism. For example…
…keep reading the full & original article HERE