22 Nov 7 ways to deepen your emotional intelligence
If happiness is about understanding yourself; and others. And if happiness is about managing yourself; and responding appropriate to others. Then happiness and emotional intelligence are intimately linked.
Accordingly, building on your emotional intelligence will indubitably build more happiness…
via Inc.com by Amy Morin
Emotional intelligence has become a topic at the forefront of human resources workshops, leadership groups, and corporate training sessions–and with good reason.
Evidence shows that emotional intelligence plays a big role in workplace performance. Individuals with high emotional intelligence perform better and usually experience better psychological and physical well being.
Emotional Intelligence Components
The concept of emotional intelligence was made popular by an author named Daniel Goleman. His 1996 bestseller, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, introduced it to the public. The idea was originally proposed by John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990.
The model of emotional intelligence proposed by Salovey and Mayer contains four parts:
- Perceive emotions in oneself and others accurately;
- use emotions to facilitate thinking;
- understand emotions, emotional language, and the signals conveyed by emotion; and
- manage emotions to attain specific goals.
Studies have shown that emotional intelligence can be learned. It has become a billion-dollar industry, as training programs have proved very effective in helping people raise their emotional intelligence and perform at their best.
But you don’t need a formal training program to boost your own emotional intelligence.
Here are seven simple ways to boost your emotional intelligence.
1. Label your emotions.
People rarely like to talk about their feelings, despite the fact that our emotions affect every decision we make. Many people are much more comfortable saying things like “I had butterflies in my stomach” or a “lump in my throat” than what they are really feeling, which is sadness or anxiety.
Practice labeling your emotions with real feeling words–frustrated, anxious, disappointed, etc. Check on yourself a few times a day and pay attention to how you are feeling, even if you don’t announce it out loud.
2. Consider how your emotions affect your judgment.
Now that you know how you’re feeling, take time to consider how these emotions are affecting your thoughts and behaviors. If you’re sad, it may cause you to be afraid of rejection, and you may underestimate your chances of success.
On the other hand, if you’re overly excited about an opportunity, you may overestimate your chances. This could lead to taking risks without examining the potential consequences or drawbacks.
To make better decisions, you need to recognize how your emotions are affecting your judgment. In doing so, you will balance your outlook of your own logic and emotion, and thus be better equipped to make decisions.
3. Decide whether your feelings are a friend or an enemy.
Every emotion we experience has the power to be helpful or unhelpful at times. The same emotion can affect us in either a positive or negative way, depending on how we use it.
Once you determine what you are feeling at any moment, next consider whether that emotion is being a friend to you or an enemy at the time. Anger could be a friend when it helps you stand up for injustice. It could be an enemy, however, when you’re entering a discussion with your boss.
Sadness can be helpful when it reminds you to honor a person you no longer have. But it could be an enemy when it gets in the way of your motivation in life.
If you realize that sadness is being an enemy, you must do what you can to regulate your emotions. Try to experiment with different coping strategies to help you do this. Maybe meditation for a few minutes can help you calm down. Afterward, even a simple activity like walking around the block might help you cheer up…
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