03 Dec Make happiness the way
via the Ladders by Darius Foroux
I’ll be happy when I make six figures. I’ll be happy when I have a partner. I’ll be happy when I move to a big city. I’ll be happy when I have a rich social life.
These are some of the things I used to think. Can you relate to that? It’s called conditional happiness. We all do it.
You can spot conditional happiness when you use “if” or “when.” X depends on Y. But what if X is an independent factor? What if X is not conditional?
You can replace X with any esoteric pursuit in life: Happiness, meaning, fulfillment, tranquility, inner peace, purpose—or any new age term people are using to explain that they simply want to be happy.
Happiness Is Not A Destination
Modern society implies that happiness is some kind of outcome—something you can achieve. You see it on social media all the time. People post a picture that connotes freedom, happiness, or wealth and use the hashtag #goals. There are relationship #goals, body #goals, life #goals, and so forth.
While I’m a big believer in goals, I avoid setting goals that are related to outcomes. For example, my health goal is to lift weights 3-4 times a week and to walk at least 30 minutes every day. I don’t want to look like someone. I don’t control that. I control my actions.
The problem with chasing happiness and other outcomes is that you create inner conflict. When you get what you don’t want, you’re unhappy. And when you don’t get what you want, you’re also unhappy. This problem is as old as modern society. The fix is simple: Avoid desires and aversions. But like almost all philosophical concepts, it’s hard to apply this to daily life.
It requires regular practice to live your life without desires and aversions. We all have desires, which is good. Because desire is what motivates us to make life better. But what if your life is already good as it is?
…keep reading the full & original article HERE