5 habits that can help you build the self-confidence you need to win at life

5 habits that can help you build the self-confidence you need to win at life

To really enjoy happiness one needs at least a healthy degree of self-confidence; which then contributes to success which then, in turn, contributes to more happiness.

Feeling good about yourself leads to feeling good (e.g. happy) … which creates a positively reinforcing cycle of positive emotion (such as happiness) and positive action…

via the Ladders by Thomas Oppong

Self-confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared to try or do anything worthwhile. Some people exude self-confidence, while others dread putting themselves forward.

Research shows that lack of self-confidence is associated with loneliness and feeling left out, lower life satisfaction and depression.

Self-confidence doesn’t always come easy for many people. The good news is it can be learned, practiced and mastered just like any other skill — once you master it, you will change your life for the better.

In his recent book, You Matter. Learning to Love Who You Really Are, Matthew Emerzian, the CEO and founder of the nonprofit Every Monday Matters leans on his experiences and struggles — like overcoming chronic anxiety, leaving his career in the music industry behind, and the creation of his nonprofit organization — to illustrate how empathy, perspective, and human-connections shape our purpose and helps build confidence.

Wondering how to build your self-confidence? Here are a few ideas Matthew shares in his book that can help you feel more confident in yourself.

1. Be Authentic

Start showing up as your authentic self wherever you go.

To take the first step at building the confidence it takes to be authentic, ask yourself “what is it that holds me back from being my true and authentic self?”

Identify what the factor holding you back is and how it shows up in different parts of your life. Then write it down.

You might discover that there are different things that keep you from being your authentic self in different parts of your life.

For instance, maybe your work reason is different from your personal life reason. Then use a “5- Whys” strategy, asking yourself “Why” five times for each of the reasons you’ve identified is holding you back.

For example, if you wrote down, “I’m afraid of speaking my truth,” then ask yourself “Why” You might answer, “ Because I am afraid of rejection.” Then ask yourself, “why” again.

Once your “Whys” are identified — begin to align with your interests, skills, and values instead. Create a theme song for yourself, find a song that most defines your authentic self, one that uplifts and inspires you.

Refer back to that song when you notice your behavior shifting from showing up as your authentic self.

2. Celebrate Your Differences

What makes you different or unique should be celebrated and embraced not hidden. Think about one thing that you always thought made you different in a bad way.

It could be a physical difference or a mental difference you’ve held onto as inadequate. Maybe it’s a skill you wish you had more of or a story from your past you wish you could un-identify with.

Whatever the difference might be, write a love letter to it. Let that insecurity know you wouldn’t change anything about it because it made you who you are today — and it matters too.

Share your letter out loud to someone else in your life until you truly embrace it. Celebrate that difference any time a negative thought occurs, You self-confidence will boost every time you accept that difference as an enhancement to your life instead of a burden…

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