22 Jun 3 Ways to Truly Feel Happier
via Psychology Today by Jeffrey Bernstein
Over the 30 years that I have been a psychologist, I have realized that a huge happiness depleting paradox runs rampantly in our culture: Our craving for happiness leads to less of it! In other words, if you truly want to feel happier, it will likely come from already seeing where it exists in your life versus often feeling like you have to go out and get it.
I’d be misguided and grandiose to say I have the exclusive formula for happiness. And not to scare you off from reading the rest of this brief post, but I like to think I “know less” now at 59 years old compared to when I was starting my career in my late 20s. What I mean is that similar to exploring the universe, the more we learn, the more we see there is to learn.
That all said, I poured over the current happiness literature when writing my recent book, The Anxiety, Depression, & Anger Toolbox for Teens. I will share here with you, based on my findings, my one Don’t and two Do’s for you to immediately begin to feel happier:
Don’t: Try to Be Happier
Consistent with how I began this post, Shawn Achor, a popular researcher and corporate trainer says, “The biggest misconception of the happiness industry is that happiness is an end, not a means. We think that if we get what we want, then we’ll be happy. But it turns out that our brains actually work in the opposite direction.” In other words, as we strive toward “being happy” as the goal, we forget that what’s really important is the journey.
The ironic bottom line is that we’re not happy when we’re chasing happiness! We’re happiest when we’re not thinking about it, when we’re enjoying the present moment because we’re lost in a meaningful project, sharing time with someone we care about, working toward a higher goal, or helping someone who needs us.
Do: Embrace Acceptance
I personally use strategies from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to practice acceptance skills. I also use these skills to help my coaching and counseling clients deemphasize control of thought. As much as I believe that we are what we eat, I also believe that we are what we think…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE
#happiness #happy #happier #psychology #positivepsychology #acceptance