09 Nov Do you take things personally? (And who doesn’t?) Here’s how to stop
via TED Ideas by Frederik Imbo
Let’s say I’m driving really slowly because I’m trying to find a specific address. So the person in the car behind me starts honking and flashing their headlights at me.
How do I respond?
I take it personally.
I know I shouldn’t. But it just happens.
Or, let’s say someone cancels a work-related appointment with me at the last minute.
How do I respond?
Again, I take it personally, even though it’s professional. I feel I must not be important enough to them.
I give keynote speeches for a living, and I really like drawing my audience into my story. But the very moment that I see someone not paying attention and look at their phone, I take it personally.
Of course, I’m not the only person who takes these kinds of things personally.
Imagine you invite a friend to the movies and she replies: “Oh sorry, I have to work.” But then you see her on social media having dinner with friends that very night.
Or imagine you worked hard on a project, you’re really proud of the end result, but the only feedback you get is criticism. So you come home and want to share this terrible experience. But while you’re telling your story, your partner walks away to switch on the TV.
Most of us would take these situations personally — we’d feel hurt, neglected, offended or betrayed by the other person.
At these moments, we believe: “It’s the other person’s fault; they’re responsible for what I feel; they’re the one to blame.”
The part of us that’s speaking is our ego. Our ego thinks others should take us into consideration. Our ego doesn’t want to be criticized. Our ego wants to be acknowledged and told we’re always right.
When our egos take over, it’s exhausting.
Instead, it would probably be easier for us if we could stop taking things so personally. That way, no one has power over us; we’re free. We’d experience more harmony and connection between us and others, and our energy could go towards positive things, instead of endlessly battling against the things that drive us crazy.
Well, how do we do that?
Here are some strategies that I’ve come up with...
… keep reading the full & original article HERE
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