20 Aug Why Science Says Emotionally Intelligent People Follow the Rule of No Complaints
via Inc.com by Jeff Haden
Every group has one: The person who, no matter what happens, refuses to complain. Who, no matter how frustrating the situation, refuses to vent.
Who somehow stays positive and keeps moving forward. Admirable, right?
But also, truth be told, a tad irritating to the rest of us. After all, we’re taught to vent, because venting is good for us: Holding it all in will eventually cause us to blow.
Science says that person — the one who never complains — is definitely on to something. According to research published in 2015 in European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, complaining actually makes you feel worse.
“Discussing events immediately during or after they occur forces the brain to re-live or ‘rehearse’ the negative emotional response,” the researchers write. “This creates a stronger association in memory, exaggerating the influence of the emotional episode.”
Or in simpler terms, complaining about a negative event actually cements the incident in your mind. Instead of helping you to move on, complaining causes the negative feelings to bleed over into other areas of your life. The researchers found that people who complained were in a worse mood, felt less satisfaction and pride in the work they were doing, and were significantly more likely to feel less happy and experience poorer self-esteem the next day as well.
Add it all up and complaining makes you feel worse today and worse tomorrow.
Why? The researchers think complaining about a negative event is like experiencing the same thing twice …
… keep reading the full & original article HERE