10 Sep This Small Shift in Your Thinking Makes All the Difference
via Inc.com by Debra Roberts
Our perspective influences our reactions, and it can lead us to respond poorly. When we react negatively to a person or a situation, it’s often because our perspective was skewed by what we believed to be true at the moment. As our frustration increases, we react emotionally, turning away from the person or experience that we think is at the root of the problem. And then, we start justifying our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Here’s what it sounds like when someone has turned away:
- “My boss is difficult, and I’m tired of not being recognized for my effort. It makes me feel frustrated and unmotivated to perform.”
- “This commute stinks. I hate that I have to get up and leave my house every day to go to work. It ruins my day. Great job; bad commute.”
- “Why am I paired up with Marie on this project? I’m tired of waiting for her to finish her work so I can pull it all together. Granted, she’s thorough. But her slow speed grates on me.”
Notice that the speaker in each of these examples was turned off. They were behaving in a manner that I refer to as being “turned away” from the other person or situation. When we turn away, we give ourselves permission not to care and focus on complaining instead of finding a solution.
We all turn away to some extent when we are frustrated, but the problem with focusing only on the negatives is that we then carry that weighted, unhelpful energy around. It can ruin our day, and it influences how we experience our relationships and circumstances. It colors our viewpoints and affects our interactions and performance. The longer we stay in that state, the more we focus on ourselves and our injuries, and we become less interested in connecting with others. We are more invested in our feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, or exhaustion, and because of this, we stay disconnected. Over time, relationships can get splintered, and resentment builds.
Surprisingly, the secret to regaining a more positive outlook can be straightforward, even for the most contentious relationships. All it requires is a slight shift in your thinking–something that’s free and within your control…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE