19 Oct The Best Happiness Advice People Learned In Therapy
via the Huffington Post by Nicole Pajer
The road to happiness isn’t always easy, nor does it really have one final destination. Joy exists on a spectrum. And thanks to work, life and relationship problems – not to mention, you know, an extremely distressing global pandemic – it can be easy to fall on the lower end of the spectrum more frequently.
A lack of contentment is one of the most common overarching themes people bring up in therapy. Fortunately, mental health experts are filled with wisdom and are able to offer guidance on how to get there.
While it’s best to seek tailored advice from a therapist for yourself, it can be helpful to see just how therapy has helped people with this particular issue. We asked people to share the best advice on happiness they’ve received in therapy. See below for some mood-boosting inspiration.
You don’t always have to be OK
Amber Robinson, a 31-year-old licensed psychotherapist, may help others with their mental health for a living, but she learned a lot about happiness going to therapy herself.
“The best advice I learned is that it is OK if you’re not OK,” she said. “This was so powerful to me because I spent so much time resisting negative emotions and feeling as though I needed to be happy. In actuality, sadness and anger are totally normal and appropriate in certain situations.”
Robinson now makes a point of noticing if she is sad or upset and allowing herself to feel those feelings. “This acceptance has allowed me to understand that things are really going to be OK, and it makes the negative emotion less powerful overall,” she explained.
Valerie Dauphin, a life coach and author, was having a hard time feeling happy due to decision fatigue. But she received this valuable advice from her therapist, which has led her to feel much better about having to pick a path to travel: “The most memorable advice I received was, ‘Whatever decision you make, just line yourself up with it,’” she explained.
This helped Dauphin take the stress out of decision-making by learning that she could be satisfied with any decision she makes, as long as she was fully on board with her reasons – and could have her own back whatever the outcome.
“I apply this advice every time I have decisions to make, especially the more substantial ones,” she said. “I have healthy confidence and feel solid about navigating choices.”
“The most memorable advice I received was, ‘Whatever decision you make, just line yourself up with it.’”- VALERIE DAUPHIN, LIFE COACH AND AUTHOR
Accept that sometimes you’ll mess up
Ravi Davda, a 32-year-old marketing professional, has found power in the concept of self-acceptance.
“This was difficult because, for me, I was always questioning my actions. Am I doing this right? Should I be doing it another way? Is acting this way or feeling this way right? Is it wrong?” he said.
His therapist explained that, as humans, we’re all just trying our best. And we have to accept that sometimes we will do things wrong and that sometimes we won’t feel our best.
“It resonated with me because for a long time, I thought I needed to do things differently,” Davda explained. “I thought that I had to be a certain way, even if I didn’t want to be. I felt bad every time I felt low or down.”
This advice has allowed him to trust himself and his decisions and to trust that he is doing his best.
Kristin Runyan, a 30-year-old digital marketing professional, said she was constantly under pressure when she was growing up. “I wasn’t allowed to have flaws, and as a stereotypical Type A personality, I am incredibly perfectionistic,” she said.
But there are so many things Runyan wants to do in her life that require her to do new things – and when you do something new, you will inevitably make mistakes.
“Fear of making mistakes has held me back from pursuing my dreams,” she said. It was only when her therapist urged her to occasionally fail that she felt so much more inspired. “I follow[ed] my dream of starting a business with an environmental mission, [and] I had to accept sometimes I would make mistakes,” Runyan explained. “Adopting a different mindset has allowed me to begin embracing a growth mindset and find joy in learning.”
… keep reading the full & original article HERE