Once You Let Go Of These 7 Things, You Can Be Happy Again

Once You Let Go Of These 7 Things, You Can Be Happy Again

via Your Tango by Jessie Leon

I used to think that living a more joyful life was a game of addition, one that meant I filled my time with enriching activities, like trying new classes, learning kundalini yoga, and reading every self-help book in print; and while, yes, there are many practices and new things we can try that will enhance our well-being, one of the biggest keys to living more joyful, awesome lives is to be willing to let go of things in your search for how to be happy again.

Here are 7 specific mindsets, patterns, and perceptions that, when released, leave us feeling happier and more peaceful.

1. Grievances

The spiritual text A Course in Miracles says Love holds no grievances. I keep this quote as wallpaper on my phone as a reminder to release negative thoughts I have that keep me from feeling peaceful.

We all have grievances: Someone acts in a way that is manipulative or does something unfair, and we complain about him or her in our mind for days. Being willing to release grievances doesn’t mean that we pretend the other person is a saint, but rather, that we don’t let his action ruin our day.

By reminding ourselves that love holds no grievances, we can choose to accept that the other person has acted in a way that is unfair, but we’re not going to hold that story and resentment in our hearts for months or years.

Here’s a helpful prayer from A Course in Miracles: behind this is a miracle to which I am entitled. Let me not hold a grievance against you, [name[, but offer you the miracle that belongs to you instead. Seen truly, this offers me a miracle.

2. Unwillingness to Change

If we want our life to change, we have to change. We can’t cling to our perceptions, patterns, and behaviors and expect our life to be different.

For example, if we’ve been single for years, but we’re unwilling to try online dating, it would serve us to give it a shot. If we’ve fought with a family member for years, we can’t approach that relationship the same way and expect it to be different. Something new has to occur for any change to happen.

Instead of criticizing that child who never does anything right, try complimenting him. Instead of nagging our romantic partner, we can choose to focus on his positive qualities. Instead of thinking there’s no way to find a better job, we can open up to new possibilities; maybe we move or change industries.

3. Limiting Beliefs

A limiting belief is any negative thought we continue to think that doesn’t serve us. Some common ones are: I’ll never get out of debt. There are no good men in this city. I’m too old to change careers. There’s no such thing as loving relationships anymore. I’m not good enough to be a fill-in-the-blank. 

Limiting beliefs tend to be hyperbolic in nature, using words like never, or making broad generalizations as to why something is an impossibility. They fill our lives with no’s and keep us our purpose. We must be willing to let them go, even when our current life circumstances suggest that they are, in fact, true.

We can shift, and instead, think: My friend Samantha is in a loving relationship, so it’s possible. Lots of people change careers and make it work, so why can’t I? I’m working at my craft and getting better and better at it every day. Life is full of surprises. 

Every yes we believe is a possible relationship or situation that we invite into our life. From every yes comes a new adventure, a friendship we could never have imagined, or a talent we didn’t know we had. When we let go of limiting beliefs, doors open and our lives change…

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