05 May Lovable and Worthy of Happiness
There are many reasons why many people struggle to enjoy happiness.
But one of the more common is that even if they find happiness, some don’t enjoy it because they don’t think they’re worthy, or that they deserve it.
There are so many reasons why this can come about, but whatever the cause, it’s important to recognise if this is an obstacle to you AND THEN try to remedy it because if you don’t, you’ll continue to feel bad or even to feel bad about feeling good!
If you relate to the idea of not feeling worthy of happiness then keep reading …
via Psychology Today by Allison Raskin
Here is one of my biggest issues with a guy we are going to call Dylan: While I respected the sh*t out of him, I didn’t view myself as his equal. And when it comes to a healthy relationship, respect not only has to flow both ways between partners, it also has to apply to how each person feels about themselves. When we started dating in 2016, I thought, without a doubt, that Dylan was out of my league. This might not seem like that big of an issue, but if you go into a partnership feeling inferior, it is going to negatively impact every corner of the relationship. My reasons for feeling unworthy were mainly leftover insecurities from growing up. I still saw myself as an outsider, a weirdo who people might tolerate for a bit before growing sick of me.
Dylan, on the other hand, was not only extremely handsome, but he lived in a house with four other guys who partied like they were still in college. At twenty-seven, I found this intimidatingly cool. (Now that I’m in my thirties, I simply find it unseemly.) The first time I went to his house was on the Fourth of July, and there were a bunch of attractive people doing attractive things. As he introduced me, I assumed everyone was thinking the same thing: What the hell is he doing with her? In reality, people probably weren’t thinking of me at all. Not in a bad way, but simply in a “We are all the stars of our own stories” sort of way. (Realizing just how little other people think about you is unbelievably liberating IMHO.)
Throughout our ten-month relationship, I obsessed over keeping Dylan. I would sit in my therapist’s office and lament that if we ever broke up, I wouldn’t be able to console myself since this was the first guy I had dated who didn’t have flaws. In every other relationship, there was always some way to spin it so that I’d be better off without him. I could not see a scenario where I would be better off without Dylan, since Dylan was perfect. Was Dylan actually perfect? Of course not. But I had put him on a pedestal, much to my own detriment…
… keep reading the full & original article HERE