Ways We Unconsciously Stifle Happiness

Ways We Unconsciously Stifle Happiness

It might seem strange but some of us unconsciously undermine our own happiness.

We don’t mean to; but some of us have bad habits or beliefs of which we’re not fully aware that cause us to be unhappy OR to limit our real happiness.

But the good news is we can change this; and in doing so we can enjoy more positive emotions.


Well, to start with, check out this Psychology Today article by Veronika Tait …


  • Dismissing negative emotions can lead to negative physical and psychological consequences.
  • While the importance of expressing negative emotions is important, expressing joy is as well.
  • When someone expresses joy that breaks gender or cultural norms, their feelings are more likely to be disregarded.

Using the steps of emotion coaching can help our relationships with family and friends thrive.Source: Nicole Christiansen, used with permission

I’ve spent years focused on the importance of recognizing and processing negative emotions such as fearangerembarrassmentloneliness, shame, and grief. Now it’s time I acknowledged the importance of freely releasing positive emotions such as joy, elation, elevation, awe, and love.

I’ve had the voice of Glennon Doyle in my head as I’ve decided that I will not ever again stifle my own joy for the comfort of others. I have a right to feel joy at any opportunity. It is one of the delights of being human.

As a psychologist, I have worked hard to be an effective emotion coach to my children, students, and partner. In parenting, this entails recognizing and validating the emotions of my child, listening empathically, helping them label their emotions, and guiding them through upsetting situations by brainstorming solutions together.

When I follow these steps with patience and model emotional intelligence in practice, my relationships flourish. My children are more likely to confide in me, express big feelings in healthy ways, and show compassion for others when they experience negative emotions.

When we dismiss or deny someone’s upset feelings, it does nothing to comfort them or help them make sense of their internal “weather.” They may begin to doubt their own feelings, bottle-up big emotions, and show callousness towards family members and peers who display suffering.

Dismissing the cries of children is unfortunately common, but are we ever tempted to dismiss positive emotions too? The answer is regrettably yes…

…. keep reading the full & original article HERE